Varfolomey Diamonds and Jewelry

Diamonds are forever,

They’re all I need to please me,

They can stimulate and tease me,

They won’t leave in the night,

Have no fear that they might,

Desert me.

Today Dan took the long way home from work. Despite the fact that he had stayed late again, despite the fact that Celine would be worried, despite the fact that Daylight Savings Time had just ended and the city was dark, Dan chose to deviate from his regular, direct path to his building, head down and hands in pockets. His thoughts were far away from the street signs and car lights, and it nearly cost him his life as he almost walked into a busy street.

Dan looked up just in time to avoid being bounced down the road; just in time to see an old fluorescent sign, clearly in need of replacement flash to life. It was a jeweler’s store, with signs in both Cyrillic and English saying ‘Varfolomey Jewelry and Diamonds’.

The cars sped by in the night as the sign changed from green to yellow. The cars sped by even faster as the sign changed from yellow to red until stopping and forming a line.

‘DON’T WALK’.

Dan waited.

‘WALK’.

Dan crossed the street and walked to the jeweler’s store. He looked over the place, and entered.

…

Dan stood in front of the microwave, watching the Tupperware inside slowly rotate. Celine stood next to him, talking on the phone.

“Oh yeah? Well, what is it?”

The microwave counted down. 10. 9.

“Yeah…?”

8. 7.

“Ooh, how romantic!”

6. 5.

“Oh my god!”

4. 3.

“Sharon, I’m so happy for you!”

2. 1.

“Okay, I’ll let you go. Ahh! Congratulations!”

The microwave beeped. Dan removed his Chinese food. Celine hung up the phone. She turned to him.

“Oh my god, you’ll never guess what just happened!”

“What?” Dan asked as he lifted the cover off of the Tupperware and the greasy aroma filled the room.

“Martin just proposed to Sharon! Aren’t you excited? They’re going to be married in March, and I’m going to be the maid of honor!”

“Are the dishes clean?”

“Yes.”

Dan opened the dishwasher, retrieved a fork and sat down at the kitchen table. Celine sat down next to him and clung to his arm.

Oh it was so romantic!

Dan chewed.

He took her to so and so restaurant!

Chew chew.

He said this and that!

Swallow.

Dan, don’t you care? You know, it’d be really nice if you could do something romantic like that once in a while you’re always staying late at work why don’t you find some other job you shouldn’t have to work so hard I’m important too you know we’ve been living together for almost a year now don’t you ever want to settle down don’t you want something other than work don’t you love me?

Dan looked up.

“Baby of course I –”

But before he could finish, a pillow and a blanket were thrown onto the couch and the bedroom door was slammed.

Dan wiped his mouth and went to get ready to sleep.

…

“Grigoriy Varfolomey, wake up! Wake up! It’s almost six!”

Grigoriys Varfolomey eyelids crept upward, only to be shut immediately as several pieces of paper flew at him.

“You see? Bills! I don’t know what you’re doing in the store, but you’d better stop and sell some jewelry! Do you year me Grigory Varfolomey? Wake up! It’s almost six!”

Slowly Grigoriy Varfolomey got up, taking care to make the bed and put the bills thrown at him in a neat pile on the nightstand before walking to the bathroom and getting ready to go to work.

…

Grigoriy sat behind the counter, reading a Russian newspaper. It had been another slow day. Perhaps his business would fail. Perhaps then Yasmin would finally leave him. He looked at the pieces in the counter and wondered how much he could get for them.

The bell rang, and a thin, young man in a long coat with his hands in his pockets entered the store. There was an unusually lengthy space between the door and the counter (this was the store’s only defense against robbery) and the two men looked at each other a long time before exchanging a brief greeting.

Dan regarded the jeweler. He was fat and balding and he wore an old, wrinkled shirt and his eyes looked tired and his graying hair looked messy. Dan surveyed the counter and the jeweler went back to reading his newspaper.

Grigoriy regarded the man from behind his newspaper. Grigoriy watched his eyes wander back and forth, this way and that way over the jewelry, ever so slowly coming to rest multiple times on a single piece.

“This one,” said Dan, pointing to the piece. “Could I use that diamond for an engagement ring?”

“Yes,” said Grigoriy, eyes back on the newspaper. “All our pieces can be rings.”

Dan looked at the jeweler. He did not look back up.

“Well,” said Dan. “Could you do that?”

Grigoriy slowly put down the paper, half a scowl on his face, but his eyes widened and his mouth opened when he saw the piece the man was pointing at.

“Sir?”

“Yes, that one right there.”

Grigoriy looked at the man, and then back at the piece.

“Of course,” he said as he took it out.

“How much?”

Grigoriy hesitated, and then named a price, keeping his eyes locked with the man’s the entire time.

The man, seeing nothing unusual about the amount, said nothing, and proceeded to write a check. The two worked out the particulars and a ring of the proper size was selected and placed into a box.

After the man left, Grigoriy looked at the check and was in a brief panic over what he had done. He considered running out after the man. He did not. He looked at the door and frowned. After a while, Grigoriy Varfolomey picked up his newspaper and continued reading.

…

Dan finally proposed, taking Celine to this and that restaurant, getting down on his knee and saying so and so, his efforts earning himself a spot back in the bedroom. Celine was naturally pleased. They attended Martin and Sharon’s wedding and set the date that very day.

Today Dan returned home from work just in time for dinner. He made sure never to stay late at work anymore. It was Celine’s turn to cook and he was looking forward to the meal.

Dan entered the apartment, expecting the smell of good food to greet him but he was instead met with the smell of smoke and the sound of crying. He found Celine seated on the living room couch. She did not look up at him.

Dan went to console her, but decided to turn the stove off first. He moved into the kitchen, only noticing the glass crunch beneath his feet until after he had contained the smoke. Looking down, he saw tiny glittering shards, sprinkled across the floor. Dan closed his eyes for a long time, and the shards shone through his eyelids like stars.

His eyes finally crept upward to Celine on the couch, only to be shut immediately as she threw her ring at him.